


Man I see like all the time

by mortianna



Category: James McAvoy - Fandom, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: First Gay Sex, First Time, M/M, Partying, Really good kissing, hard drinking, sex betwen friends, sexual behaviour in public, sexually irresponsible James when drunk, too tight trousers showing everything, totally irresistible James too, whiny when drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:28:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27840772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mortianna/pseuds/mortianna
Summary: The gang come together for some Convention or other. James is known for getting completely out of bounds when drunk and going at it with anyone and forgetting everything about it later. The gang try to hide that from the public. Someone has to take care of James. And does. Unfortunately that someone has been secretly in love with James for ages.Well, too many interviews again and the thought that poor Nick is always somehow out of it even when there are pics of them together. So this was a try at another pairing under different circumstances .
Relationships: Nicholas Hoult/James McAvoy
Kudos: 1





	Man I see like all the time

“Ejo ejo ejo”. He shook his head, smiling. He was at it again. The only reason, no not only but biggest reason to come here again, over to the US of A. Yes, he liked everything about it but what was most appealing was meeting the old buddies. Only that this guy wasn’t –yes, buddy, but...He didn’t know when it had begun. Ohyes, he did but wouldn’t confess to it. They had never been paired, it was always him with the other guy. He himself was only just a sidekick, the idiot who made Raven run into Eriks arms (him! again!), too young for everything, the helping hand, nobody had written storiesabout the both of them, he had looked,he was a sorry idiot. “Ey, come on, what’s the matter with you? What’s the use in flying all over here and not party? Ey, it’s all free and they love us. You’re much too young to be so old. Ey, I love you, too”. 

And the smaller, yes he was really small and he himself had grown so tall, it was ridiculous and still, the smaller one was a commanding force, always, and that was not his role alone, man, tiptoed precariously and staggered a bit and kissed him full front on the mouth. The audience cheered and ran wild. The smaller man smiled victoriously, bowed as if on stage and taking the well-deserved applause and went on with his shenanigans, including drinking from a bottle, shooting a plastic-thingy at someone and talking all the time, kissing someone or touching them, always on the move, not to be caught.Not to be caught. And not to be caught alone. He sighed and tried to put on his smile again. He had a nice smile, and there were more people who noticed it. Even he had said...

He sighed again and noticed someone was watching him closely. He gulped. Yes. Worst case. She had caught him out. And she knew him, knew him best. And she always had had a feeling he hadn’t been really into it when they were together and she had been suspicious of... no not him. But... He smiled faintly at her. She nodded as if she was his mom. She wasn’t. A hand like a prank fell onto his shoulder. “Well, he’s at it again. Don’t know where he gets it, but holy shit, someone will have to carry him home again. You or I, nobody else is strong enough to handle him. Never thought I would ever say that,kid,but...” The much older man laughed roughly -yes he had been a child when the other started filming these movies and now he was the only one as tall as him. 

“What about Fassbender?”, he asked, “he can take him on anytime”. “Ha”, the other man said, “yes he can. But he’s still miffed from last time, when he actually nearly lost his virginity to him if you know what I mean. He really goes for it all the way, no matter what or who. And completely forgets about it afterwards. Sorry kid, I shouldn’t have told you. Michael will kill me. And okay, I’ll have to do it. No use to get the kiddos involved”. He lifted himself up to his full height. “Oh come on, old man, I can do that. He won’t come near any part of mine I don’t want him to”. Exactly. Exactly that. He tried to look as innocent as he felt –not. The dark and grey brows of the other man drew together. “If you think so. But don’t come running to me afterwards if he just –well, breached something you wanted to keep to yourself”. He went violently red. The other man said something like “oh for god’s sake this will be fun” and ordered another water bottle. There were water bottles and water bottles, the ones containing water, the others –not. It seemed it was time for the other ones now. And it also seemed as if the short guy in the watership down shirt hadn’t had water at all. And this was only just the beginning. 

Someone leant on his shoulder. “Amazing skills”, Sophie said. “I still can’t imagine how he does that. I mean, I can drink but that man... And the energy... And everybody loves him for it”. “Yes”, he said and couldn’t stop a sigh. She looked at him curiously, then stroked his hair. “Yes, you have the patience of a saint, you have to live with his shenanigans mostly. Well, apart from Michael perhaps”. “Michael has been out of most of it lately”, he said and knew himself it sounded –weird. At least a bit. “Since he went away and married, he’s become a bit of a –prude”. That sure was not the right word to describe Michael in that connection, but...

Sophie tapped him on the shoulder. “He’ll be okay, you know that”. And with this enigmatic sentence she went to the small guy who jumped at her and kissed her on the neck to the howls and catcalls of the audience. She’d have a hickey tomorrow the size of her neck. He envied her. And smiled into the audience like the good little boy he had been at the beginning of this, eager to do everything the right way when in fact he made everything turn wrong. Which had been in the script, of course.After the Convention they went into a faraway disco by taxi. There were more people than taxis, of course, and so the taller ones had to take the smaller ones on their laps and he was lucky/unlucky enough to have him, who straddled him, jumped around on him and talked all the time, with Fassbender near him who had Jen on his lap (she’d have given an arm and a leg for that earlier and even now seemed to try desperately to appear disinterested, she really was not that much of an actress when it came to that) and to the front seat that Sophie and Evan shared. He tried to hold him back from jumping around too much, the driver had already gotten a tip the size of the States, but still, and all the wobbeling on him made his ordeal even – harder, and then the guy turned around and kissed him, again, and this time with tongue, and he nearly jumped out of the window, and sure, the other man must notice, he could just not notice, or could he, and what he noticed, was it?! Or wasn’t it? Well it was, it must be, and then the other man said “I love you, you know that, don’t you?!” and turned to Jen and kissed her. And he lay back into the seat and tried to relax and calm down and decided to not drink anything at all cause this would be a long night and he had to be really alert to not lose him on the way to anyone or even an unsuspecting – whatever. Post standing around. Couch. James loved to make love to –things. Nearly as much as he loved to make love to himself. Or people. 

They entered the disco like the magnificent seven. They were only six of them, the others must have gone to someplace else and they were all too much gone or pretended to be in his case to care much and phone after them, he had the distinct feeling, Hugh for one was happy to have been able to chicken out of this. The dance floor was crowded to some 70s mixture of embarrassing “ringmybell” stuff, full of innocent sexual innuendo that today wouldn’t work on 7year olds. And there was a stage where some women and a man did ...? What exactly? Was that possible? In a –disco? “Holy shit”, James said and puked in a really high voltage way. They all turned away, this was rather awful, but yes, it was a valid comment on what was happening there on stage. Michael and he looked at each other, shrugging, and Michael already had the hand at his wallet to make up in payment for James’s behavior. But this was Hollywood and everybody recognized them so this was not a problem. James had already walked off, run more like, totally careless like a child, and jumped around on the dance floor. His lack of shame for anything imaginable was incomprehensible, but that was James. A totally fucking adorable fuckable dick joke of a child. He groaned and tried to calm down again with breathing. Thank god he was wearing trousers that weren’t near as tight as those of the other man. Which showed that his own antics turned him on. He didn’t know when he had realized that, he really had been a kid when he started this filming and really in awe of the other, the real actors, but somehow around the shooting of the second film, he had noticed, that yes, James was always aroused. Semi-erect. At least when he looked. Which became more and more often. He got rather obsessed with it. And more fled than fell into the relationship with Jen who herself had fled from her unholy addiction to the Fass. He sighed again. 

A fine family they were. Yes, it was during the second film. When they had danced in the room with Evan. Suddenly the way in which the other moved and the total involvement into it hit him. They way nothing else was thereat the moment only the fun to be had just then and now. The world stood still for him and he ran away from it. How could he not? What he felt –that was not in the books. Not okay. The other man was married. Older. And a total flirt with everyone. Yes, he owed Jen big time for –well, no, he didn’t. He swallowed around the old bile in his throat. They both had not been into each other as much as running away from feelings that weren’t okay for them to have or weren’t reciprocated. They had been so fucking young and lost. And then having to pick him up, after that scene under the metal thingies. He had always been the one to pick him up, carry him around etcetera while at the same time being this amazing nerd able to technically do anything and looking like Fozzybear. The other man had just taken him for granted. Or didn’t he and that was just the feeling of his role for the role the other played? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

Someone nudged his shoulder and held out a bottle of beer to him. Fassbender. He took it, they clinked. They had never become close,just like their roles, they just ... didn’t like was not the word, there was so much going on in the underground, they just didn’t talk about that it was not easy for him to be around that man. His roaring jealousy was just one problem. Good that he could put it down under being angry because of Jen, felt much better and honorable than being angry at him for –whatever happened the night Hugh had talked about earlier. They drank in silence and watched the others dancing, Jen and Sophie and Evan and – James. He only saw –him. He was lost. “Don’t”, said Fassbender suddenly, “be careful. You’ll get lost. I nearly did”. “What?”, he asked, not trusting his ears, “don’t get it?” “Oh you do”, said the other man, moving his hips slightly, the only sign of him being uncomfortable, he had some tricks of his role just packed into him, “don’t get taken too much by him. It’s easy. But it’s not –real”. “Beg your pardon?”, he asked and for a moment really felt it, the self-righteous anger, as if he ... was into a man? Like –ever? How would he, could he? And whom did Fassbender mean?

The other man sighed and wrapped an arm around his shoulders –he had never noticed how much taller he was now than this old hate figure. “I mean well. I always do. I just get misunderstood a lot”. He looked at him taken aback and then they both laughed. Loudly. As friends. And yes, warning taken but not ... no he just wouldn’t. Do. Anything. Only if... he ...wouldn’t do anything against it. Perhaps. But perhaps he would be so afraid when it really came to it that he would run away? He clapped Fassbender on the back. “Let’s move a bit ourselves, shall we? Not that the others have all the fun”. Michael groaned. “They won’t, but, okay”. And they went to the others and shared in the mayhem. They weren’t alone on the dance floor but it felt like it. He didn’t know where the alcohol came from but it was there and even he drank another beer and another one, but only beer and he could stomach this. The other man got wilder and wilder but stayed in their group, he was professional enough to keep it in the family, so yes, there would be photos of him, dancing wildly if you could call it that, him touching his nipples, thrusting his hips at other people, allover making anything sexual possible on a dance floor and in clothes but he did it with nearly equally inebriated friends who well, didn’t care much, laughed with him and played with him. He was wonderful to all of them, and even his kisses didn’t smell of vomit anymore be cause he had lots of shots with something sweet-tasting in it. And then it was the early morning, the disco closed and they found themselves under a pale morning sky with faces like ash, the girls’ make-up disheveled and had to go a long way into different directions. 

The only one still alive and jumping around and wanting to make them play along with him, go further and he knew a still open bar, was – him. Everybody was a bit fed up now and had enough. He nodded to Michael. “I take him”. Michael looked at him and nodded, only the faintest hint of a smile around his tough lips. “Good luck then”. “Yeah, good luck, Nick”, screamed his ex-girlfriend and the other girl and Evan and all of a sudden they were gone, in one cab and he had to make James take the next one with him and stay calm enough so that the no-nonsense cabdriver wouldn’t throw them out in the middle of nowhere.He thought it could do no harm to just relax for a moment. He leant back and closed his eyes. And jumped up the next and hit his head at the cab. “What?” “Oh”, said the other man, smiling benignly, “I have always wanted to know why your trousers are so fucking wide. What are you hiding there, hm?”He needn’t ask, he thought dizzily, must feel it just about –now. “Oh”, the other man, giggled, “that’s quite something. Always thought I was the only one who ... you know, gets quite involved and all that”. “You are never alone”, he answered with some gusto. The other man laughed. And still had his hand there, stroking as if not noticing what he was doing. To him. “See, I seem to remember I once tried, when I was really drunk, on Michael, but he never said a word, so perhaps, he... I just dreamt it”.

“Aha”, said he and red hot jealousy shot through his veins. “And now you’re sure you are awake?” He didn’t know what made him. It was just a sentence, another one instead of jumping on the man and begging him to get on with it or telling him he loved him or any such stupid nonsense the other guy would just laugh about. Now he eyed him suspiciously. Funny, drunkenly suspiciously, but suspiciously. “Well, but come on, how can we both be in the same dream? That’s bullshit, man. Plus, you are much too young”. He opened his mouth to answer that, but only gave an embarrassing little squeal as the other man had just closed his fist around him in his trousers – no, it seemed he hadn’t forgotten that. “Even if that doesn’t feel too young at all –what do you say? I mean, hey, it’s not as if we are like gay or something,are we? It’s just like as –soldiers? Or in jail?” The man giggled again and then stopped, obviously trying not to puke. He was thankful for that, the cab driver already shot them glances. 

“I’m just bringing you home, James”, he tired to sound like his role, sobering and all that, totally scientifically clear and all that. Was hard though with that hand on and around his hard-on and the eyes of the driver watching them suspiciously in the rearview mirror. “And I thank you for it, my friend”, James screamed now, being overboardingly, overflowingly full of feelings of –well, thankfulness and had even tears in his eyes. Well, he often had, that was not so special. But then he threw himself upon him, kissing him wildly if a bit sluggishly from the alcohol and rammed his tongue inside his ear. The car came to a halt screachingly. “Out of here, you homos, I won’t have any of you cocksuckers in here, is that clear? Out of here, I say”.

“My man”, said James with all the dignity he still possessed, “nobody here is a cocksucker. Plus, I think even if we were, your behavior would be highly politically incorrect”. “Oh fuck he has a gun, out of here, James,quickly”. They scrambled out of the car and stood in an area not really looking like -home. Or did it? “Just like where I grew up”, said James dreamily, “this’ll be gang land, and there’ll be drugs and prostitutes and pimps on every corner. Man, we’re so dead”. He tried to get his arms around the shoulders of his much taller friend and Nick only realized now that at last he had let go of his dick. Luckily. He had a feeling this area was not the gay quarters of Los Angeles. 

“I hope not”, he said trying to sound much stronger than he felt. He was tall, but he wasn’t a fighter, he’d never had to, he was brought up in a decent family and never had to fight for a place in society. And he had always been tall, so he didn’t have to jump around all the time to be noticed, he just stood there like a lighthouse and got noticed. Not so good all the times but that it was.“We have three options, I think”, he said, trying to keep James going, “the worst would be we just fall asleep here and now in the street. The next one is we try to get a cab to pick us up here but it doesn’t look the area. The third is we look for the direction and walk and hope we meet a decent hotel on the way so we don’t have to walk like however far this is. This city is ridiculously large really. What is it?” 

He had to stop because the other man suddenly hang to his chest and cried bitterly. “I’m so sorry, it’s all my fault, I did it again, I make everyone angry and they throw me out and...” “That was just a movie, James”, he said and stroked his hair, trying to console him and make him be a bit more quiet, this was actually a neighborhood where nobody seemed to get up early to go to work and perhaps wouldn’t react all too nice to being awoken from drunk whining. The possibility to make it into the news as two of hundred or what was it people who were shot in this wonderful town of the angels every night hit him. Yes, this wasn’t a fucking dream. This was reality. And James was still drunk as a sailor. 

“Naa, that’s my life”, he sobbed now and clung to him which made walking so much easier. Nick was now really afraid and picked up the other man to go as fast as he could. Yes, the other man had muscles and all that and was heavy for his ridiculous height but he could do that, he was tall and wiry but trained every day, he only looked so slim because of his height. “Oh”, said James now in his ear, “nobody has ever done that for me, only you”. “Or you forgot the others”, Nick groaned. A laugh. A nibbling at his -ear? A tongue in his ear? “James, I’ll let you down if you don’t stop this”. Because I’ll then have to touch myself here in the street, he thought. Another sob. “Everybody does that. Let me down and all that. And I am alone, alone and alone. I don’t like being alone, the voices are so loud then”. “That’s only a movie, Ch...fuck, James, you are not Charles. You don’t hear voices”. “Ah you know that? Don’t I? Don’t I? The many people I made unhappy in my life? Do I make you unhappy, Nicholas?” Now he nibbled at his neck. And it felt rather –the man did that like all the time and was really good at it. “Just at the moment you do. It is rather unhelpful for my thinking capacity what you do there”. A chuckle. “Ah, do I make you –hot? Hot and horny? I’m good at that you know. But nobody loves me at all”. Nick groaned again. The man became a real burden, a hot,heavy, kissing and touching burden. Now he nibbled at his earlobe again and had one hand –no, not again. He sat the smaller man down. “Ride on my back, will you?” Another chuckle. “I’ll ride you any way you want my friend”. 

Nick groaned. “On my back will do for the moment, thank you. Argh”. The other man had taken some steps back and then run against him, he hardly was able to put up his hands in time to catch him. Now he had his hands behind his back, under the –ass of the other man who had his hands free now to –no. No no no. Not really. Like really?“James”, he tried to talk to the other man as if he would to a really small child -in which,to tell the truth, he had no experience whatsoever, “I love you and all that but if you keep doing that we’ll never make it out of here alive”. Now it felt as if the man was eating out his ear. “You love me? You love me? Oh I love you, too, so much, you are so tall and gorgeous and strong and you feel so good. Your cock feels just great, did anyone tell you before?”“Not lately, no”, Nick said, giving up on trying to talk sense with the man. Okay, here they were, in the suburbs of LA and he carried around a movie star, drunk, who was whining and cradling his balls, stroking his dick, and holy shit, played at his nipples and put his tongue into his ear. “But it is, and your balls, and your nipples... I mean I’m not an expert in that, not really I mean in the male –appenditure, but yes, that all seems very nice and I’d rather have you in bed with me –now. Or anywhere else for that matter”. And Nick felt nimble fingers opening his shirt and touching and swirling around and fisting and –he let down the other man with a scream of frustration. 

“Look James”, he tried not to scream for fear of waking people up and because he knew it wasn’t James’ fault, well yes, in a way he had drunk all that stuff, nobody had made him, but –well yes, now that he thought of it, it was, that they were standing here on a street like thousands of others in this town, not having the faintest idea ... well, he was an idiot. “I ...look”, the other man said, “and can touch. But you don’t let me. You only say you love me but you don’t”. And started crying again. Nick just had to take him into his arms and let him do what he must, or he couldn’t get on with looking at his mobile for the streetmap, and the coordinates and the direction... James used the opportunity to touch him everywhere and when he put away his mobile, the smaller man jumped up to him, his legs around his waist, and in an automatic reaction he grabbed for his ass, to not let him fall down, and James kissed him, again, full body contact, tongue and all and he nearly blacked out. It was wrong, it was not the time, nor the place nor – anything, but the man was like a hurricane. Tornado. Whatever. Force of Nature nobody could resist. And kiss he could, holy fuck. 

“Look James”, he said panting, having tried sheer brutal force to get his mouth free again, “two kilometers in that direction there should be a Holiday Inn. We can get there in half an hour or sooner and then you can do anything you want. Like sleep. Does that sound good?” The other man made a funny face as if trying to think hard and trying to hide he was doing that. Nick nearly fell over laughing. That man totally inebriated had nothing of the quick wit James usually had. “Sleep, yes”, he said with a lecherous grin on his face that would have been totally off-putting on any other face, “Sleep is good. Sleep in one bed, dreaming the same dream?”Nick laughed. “Of course. Aren’t we in it like all the time? Can you walk or should I carry you?” “Carry me, carry me, it’s so wonderful. You know, just because I’m so – small, nobody ever carries me around, because they’re afraid to hurt my feelings, but I rather love to be carried around. Thank you very much my friend”. 

And so Nick went on, with James in front, clinging to him like a baby. Not exactly like a baby. He had to use one hand to hold himself up to Nick but he changed that often and every time he did he used  
the hand to stroke Nick somewhere, as if he was paying him back for being carried around. It was an ordeal and Nick was soaking wet when they arrived at the big Holiday Inn sign. “Vacancies. Holy trinity, thank you”, Nick said with furor. James eyed him. Nick let him down to the ground. No use to show the people their worst. “You’re into religion, Nick? I never knew”. “No”, said Nick and moved over the wide parking area to the actual hotel, dragging James with him, holding him at the hand only, they would survive with holding hands here, “not at all. I’m just so relieved”. “Good”, said James and jumping up again, kissed him on the ear and mumbled, “and you will be much more relieved later”. Nick decided to ignore him. Not easy, but he could do that. H had ignored his reactions to him for years now.

It was totally easy to get a room. The young man stumbled over his tongue, nearly, so eager was he to give them one. Nick was not sure if he didn’t call the press the moment they were in the lift, but he couldn’t care less. He was so tired from all this, more of fending James off than from carrying him around, he only wanted a bed and sleep. But he had some doubts.It was the typical American room, big, like really big and with one enormous bed. Nick felt relieved. Well, kind of. James fell down like a stone, shoes and all. Nick shrugged. Yes, he had some pretty unappealing habits, this James. He for one wanted to have a shower before he could sleep. And that he did, thought shortly about taking care of his still erect member, just to be on the safe side, but decided against it – James was long gone and he himself tired as hell, so he could sleep, no matter what. With that though he went to bed in his boxers and shirt and would swear forever that he had fallen asleep on the other side of the bed from the sleeping and snoring James, but he awoke to a familiar tongue in his ear and a hand on his dick. By the feeling of it, the feeling short before coming, the feeling that just made him say “what the fuck? Ahh” and then coming, James had been at it for some time, stroking himself languidly and now looking at him as if this was the most natural thing in the world. And for him it was. Natural.

“What...? James? Are you...? Why?”, was all Nick brought out after having nearly escaped an asthmatic attack, he was prone to that when really excited or angry. James just shook his head, still stroking himself but managing at the same time to look like a nice old granny talking to her grandchild.“To say thank you in the right way. You know? Don’t take anything for granted, they say. I don’t. I really am really thankful for what you did. Wanted to show you. Know of no better method. Sorry I woke you”. Now he looked positively sheepish. Nick had to laugh. This was still James, even if he had brought him off while sleeping. “Okay. Thank you then. I think. Can you sleep now?” “No”, was the direct answer. “Don’t think so. Felt pretty hot. Still feel hot. But don’t want to ... be a nuisance. Just take care of that myself. I can do it. I have done that often”. Nick had to laugh even more. The thought that this man, who had alone how many followers whatsoever on Instagram alone,who would willingly give an arm, a leg or what not to get laid by him, had to take care of that himself, was laughable. And highly arousing. Okay, perhaps he himself had had one glass too many but he would be damned if he now, when awake, seeing James touching himself and still aroused himself even if he had just been ... looked after, well, he would be damned if he didn’t do what he wanted to. Which was...

He grabbed the other man and pulled him onto him. Only a second of hesitation, but he had to give James that. And he didn’t puke, which was a good sign. Instead the smaller man straddled him, eagerly, just like he had done on the street but now with him lying down on the bed and with slightly lesser clothes. And even more aroused than on the street. Okay, now if that was his one time, he would go for it, Nick thought. Perhaps he could get over it and lead a decent life then. And James had begun it and would have forgotten all about it the next morning. Well,when he would have slept. Whenever.So he pulled James’s head down to him and the other man didn’t exactly fight it. No. On the contrary, his lips were on his again, eagerly, and yes, this was better than the kisses before, which had been in fun, in play mode, in – whatever.This was in earnest. 

He could feel the earnest poking at his navel, that was much more than he had felt before, nobody could call this half-erect. He was that, and on the way up. Again. Yes, that man could kiss, even if he talked about it all the time that he was so good at it. He really was. He did it as if it was the last thing in the world he’d ever do, that was his secret to everything,Nick had learnt that while acting with him, and he admired him for it. To really be able to be just here and now, that was a gift not many had. He himself surely not, but he did his best. And James could tickle out the best in everyone, he had done so numerous times in acting. And he did now.With his mouth alone, mouth on his mouth, he could drive him to hell and back. Heaven,he meant, heaven. Seemed to be similar enough to him. While kissing him nearly senseless, James suddenly brought one of his hands down and wrapped it around both of their cocks. Together. Gliding up and down. Nick nearly suffocated. He had a hard time to wrap his brain around that. James. Bringing him off. Bringing the both of them off together. Kissing him like there was no tomorrow. Pinching his nipple. Murmuring “like that?”into his ear and kissing him again. Well, obviously, Nick would have said if he wanted to say something. Didn’t .Just nodded. Breathlessly.

James was far gone now, moving his hand up and down feverishly, moaning, “yes baby, come for me” but Nick was not that fast in the second round. He whispered and was embarrassed he did: “Just come, it’s okay, just do it”, and James nodded, moved his hand even faster around them both, grabbed one of Nick’s nipples with his mouth and sucked, his thumb now on both of their – heads,Nick groaned, perhaps he could make it, again, but James grabbed with his free hand at his balls and stopped him and –came. That man was just an ... Nick swallowed and was not sure he was going to survive. James. Or himself.

“Woohoo”, James made, lying on his back, hand still on his dick. Nick had free sight for the first time and yes –lickable.He moved up to do just that, but James pushed him back onto the mattress. “Ever done it with a man?”, he asked as if asking if there were potatoes to be had. “Nonono”, Nick said and then James did what he himself had been about to do, put his mouth around him, grinned and said: “Good”, and began licking. Nick just lay back and heard the angels sing.He had never heard James talk about giving blow jobs to men before but he was, as far as he could be a judge, sensational at that too. His mouth was deep and could take a lot of him in and he was really good at hand jobs even if he had said so himself. He could prove everything he said, Nick was nearly sure of that. When he was just about to come a second time, and really on the brink,James grinned up to him mischievously: “Know what? I really always asked myself, how it would feel, you know?” 

“What?”, asked Nick and thought, feverishly, no he doesn’t mean it, mean that, not now, get on with it for fuck’s sake –Nick’s thinking was always far less polite than his words. “Going all the way. Like –with women”, said James and Nick suddenly felt one finger sliding from his balls further back. His eyes nearly popped out. Yes, he had been thinking about that,fantasizing about it, but the truth was –in reality,he was not so sure if he could stomach that. Even for James...“I think, it must be quite the experience”, James said, stroking Nick off and poking a finger at his behind. “No, I don’t think so, quite gross, isn’t it?”

Nick would have said the same and really positively so a minute earlier, but the truth was, somehow James’ finger together with the stroking hand in the front, and the other fingers he now used from behind at his balls brought him a totally different feeling, a totally different –good –feeling, so he wasn’t so sure anymore. “I mean”, James kept talking as if they were in the kitchen,cooking together, “we could of course do it the other way around, could we? Would you like that?”He looked at him and the reaction in Nick’s face showed him enough. He stroked and poked again and the reaction he felt under his hand showed him enough, too. “Ah okay, so if you want me to, I’ll try. I think I can do it. Haven’t done it before, ba...I think I can. Can’t be too different really, once you come over the – grossness.Or the religious taboos”. The man looked down at himself and yes, it seemed as if he was preparing to be up to it again. “I mean, that’s really kinda cool. I try, if you want”. “Nick pressed his lips together. “Go for it, man”.

“Oh okay, if you ask nicely. Well, I should, okay, here we go”. He took some of the fluid on his belly and smeared it over his fingers. Nick gulped.James grinned at him. “Now’s the time,my boy. You can always say no, you know that. And you can throw me off anytime, you’re much taller than me.”“And you’re much stronger”, Nick was able to grind out while James’s hands went on with their work at the fore-and the backfront. “Yes, but I am not an animal. I can stop if you ask nicely. I hope”, James said and now put a finger into him with near clinical interest. It didn’t feel really good, Nick had to say if he was gonna have a say in that and James himself didn’t seem to be too convinced. So James went for it. And yes, he was good at that, too. And once he had three fingers in him and Nick didn’t think much about what exactly he was doing there, but got hit at a spot he wanted him to hit again, they both started to become quite interested in what they were doing. Nick grabbed James and pulled at him and the other seemed to like it, but it was a strange angle and not really satisfactory and James shook his head and said: “Sorry old friend” and pushed him onto the mattress onto his belly and Nick was left to feeling alone and James was between his legs now and stretched him in earnest and hit that spot again with every movement and Nick felt himself twitch against the mattress and had this strange sinking feeling and managed to say, more whisper: “James, now, if you...”. 

He couldn’t spell it out and he didn’t need to. The fingers were gone and he felt a kind of loss. Then he felt something bigger at his entrance and braced himself,this was going to hurt, he was sure of it, that would stretch him, but he was up to it, he wanted it, fuck, that ...didn’ thurt, that was...good actually. Okay. And when James asked. “Okay?”, he just pushed his head into the mattress and said, more grunted, “yes, move”, and James chuckled, oh that chuckle, and did. And talked. He couldn’t be too much into it, Nick thought, when he could still talk. But enough to well, do what he did.“You know, you really have a great ass, Nick. And this is fucking –awesome. Oh man, can we, can you, just... I can’t”. Nick nodded. Everything. Anything. He thought about the logistics. He was lying flat on the bed,so James must be lying on top of him,so he couldn’t move much, so this was awkward. No, this was good but it might even get better. So Nick groaned and moved until he was on all fours and the smaller man behind him, who groaned too, now, said:“Fuck Nick, this really is –hot,I never would have...Can I? Is it okay when I? Yes?”And Nick just grind out a “Go for it .Now.” 

And that James did, and put his hand on him again and clamped it around him and fisted him while he thrusted into him from behind and that was more than Nicholas had ever had to endure and more than he had ever felt and when James said, “sorry man, I’m nearly there”he clamped his insides together and the man on his back screamed, he really screamed and that sound sent Nick over the edge too, that and the constantly grinding hand and James’s dick inside him, and he came too and fell onto the mattress like a rag doll and blacked out.This time really. 

He came to when it was high noon. The sun was in the room, and James was too, lying close to him, sleeping, cuddled into the sheets.On the floor there was a wet cloth, and Nick felt his heart jump –obviously James had been awake longer and had cleaned him up. He was so thirsty and yes, there was a water bottle too, at his side of the bed,from the minibar he supposed. He drank half the bottle and felt quite good. Really. He touched his ass and made a face. Okay. Wouldn’t go at it just yet again, but could at least imagine doing it again. He sighed. As if. No. One time experience, to be filed under just that. Experience. He looked at the other man in the bed, his half profile with the nose in the sheets, his hair tangled, arms and legs everywhere, naked. He felt his heart skip a beat. And simply had to move over and touch him. This wasn’t totally okay, he knew this but he simply must. He stroked over the arm next to him, the myriads of freckles. The muscles. He really was an animal, that man, but one that could listen to reason, if only his own, when he wanted to. He touched the shoulder, steely muscles under soft freckled skin. Heartbreaking.

“What the hell do you think you are doing there, mate?”,came James’s voice suddenly from out of the sheets. Nick stopped everything. “Nothing”, he said quite idiotically. “Aha”, said James, “didn’t feel like nothing. Do you have anything to drink there? Water perhaps?”“Yes”, said Nick and grabbed his bottle, “thanks to you. You must have taken it here”. “Thanks mate”, James said and drank the rest. “I did? I don’ t remember. But if you say so. I was out. Remember the club, that’s about it. How do we come here? What did we do? Why are we naked? Do I want to know the answers to these questions?”

Nick felt suddenly ill. And tired. He got up. “No, you don’t”, he said and went into the bath to have a long hot shower. He would have hit the wall again and again with his head, for being dumb, dumber than dumb, for yes, being fucking dumb Nick who had his heart broken again, but he didn’t for fear James might hear it and then he felt another body in the shower,and arms around his waist and that someone must try hard to stand on tiptoe on the slippery ground so he just grabbed him and held him up and the someone said: “Sorry mate. Didn’t want to hurt you. Did I do anything you didn’t want?” Nick looked into these gorgeous blue eyes. “No”, he said, “no, not at all”. The other man grinned. “Good. Then perhaps you can show me exactly what we did?”

Nick looked down on him and a grin began to tug at his mouth. “Sure can”, he said and pulled the other man up again who put his legs around his waist quite naturally and as if at least his body remembered. “I think it began like –this”. And then they kissed.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I rather enjoyed rereading even if the pairing doesnt really fit. I mean ...  
> Am totally in love again with this James :-)  
> And of course none of this happened or would happen, it's just fantasy running wild with the few snippets it got fed.  
> Like? Leave a mark :-)


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